I can tuck mytits in my pants
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
