She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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