hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
