it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
