It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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