Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
