Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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