well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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