Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
