I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
