is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
