I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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