haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
