Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
