Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
