yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
