Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize