i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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