and i looked up. we had an audience...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
