i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
