So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
