I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
