Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
