well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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