I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
