they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
