I want to have your abortion
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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