I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
