is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
