I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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