this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
