Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
