I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
