Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
no you cant smoke seaweed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
