come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
