Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
