I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
