I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
