Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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