I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
