I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We're too hungover to prance.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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