it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
