Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
