Just fell off a train. Bad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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