do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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