It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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