I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize