Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
