I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
