the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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