i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
