Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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