It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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