you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm jealous of your bromance
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you had me at cake vodka
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
