I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
