Christians are straight up FREAKS
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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