I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
