Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
