I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
