did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
